Secret confession: I always used to judge people who got married and then had babies/bought a house/settled into domestic bliss two seconds later. What’s the rush? Why not slow down? You have the rest of your lives!
Now that I’m a married woman myself I’m singing a different tune. When will we have babies? Buy a house? Is Charlotte our forever home? In all fairness, wedding planning + events surrounding it are so time consuming that life seems to come to a grinding halt once its over. Planning was also a great creative outlet for me, and I definitely missed it when it was all said and done. (Call me crazy, but I really loved it! The planning, not the paying people five-figure checks part.)
After the dust had settled and the honeymoon was, in fact, over, I felt sort of…bored. What next? According to the ephemeral “checklist”: house, baby, another baby, and so on and so on.
I spent hours scouring Zillow even though we’re nowhere near financially ready to buy a house. I read books about pregnancy and childbirth even though we are definitely not about to start a family (IUD, what up!). I scrolled Pinterest and sighed with jealousy when friends told me they were pregnant.
In short, I kept myself busy from living the life I have right now. Which actually? Is an awesome one.
Yes, we feel like the only people in our friend group still renting an apartment. But we love our apartment. Other than wishing we had a man cave for Patrick to watch his Holocaust documentaries in (I can’t…), it’s perfect. There’s an incredible pool, a big new bathroom (double vanity!) and even a Starbucks machine downstairs. I mean really. A Starbucks machine downstairs. To top it all off, our commutes are both crazy short thanks to said apartment’s amazing location. Other than a guest bedroom, it has everything I’d want a house to have.
As for kids, I am totally excited by the idea of Patrick and I starting a family together. Growing up with a small but tight-knit fam, I’m not ashamed to admit I daydream about a house full of kids. Patrick is an only child and I just have one (awesome) brother, so our extended family is going to be small. But I also love that our only responsibility right now is to our dog. I treasure our Saturday mornings where Patrick and I go to the gym together, leisurely wander the aisles of Fresh Market, and basically have nowhere that we need to be. Once we have kids, leaving the house together won’t be as easy.
Recently, I had a flash of wisdom and realized that at sixty I’ll look back fondly at those newly-married days where we lived in a tiny apartment with no kids. So I’m taking a mental break from planning the future and choosing to enjoy the present. No yard work, lots of free time, few responsibilities, and sleeping in as late as we want. And when babies and a house eventually come our way, I’ll enjoy every minute of that, too. Especially that man cave.